Saturday, September 19, 2020

Keep your goals private (Walk the walk, but do not talk the talk.)

There is an old saying in Hindi, “jo badal garajte hai, wo baraste nahi,” which roughly means that those who boast about their goals and targets seldom achieve them. 

Think how many times this has happened to you: whenever you tell your friend you would get up early from now, you end up sleeping late; whenever you tell someone that you are going to practice meditation, you generally leave it after a few days. You might think that if I declare my goal to someone, then I will be obligated to achieve it, but it is not true. No one keeps a check on you, and you start skipping it. You think that you will continue performing a task because by telling it to someone, you will get a dose of external validation (wow, you got up so early today!). And you stop when no one acknowledges it when you stop getting a hit of the validation dose.


We attain success (it can mean different to everyone) only when we set the goal we want to achieve and do something to achieve it. It is a two-step process: creating a target and working to meet it. When we talk about our goal, the latter part of this process is ruined. Our brain perceives the talking about the task as working on that task, and we experience the external validation or a sense of satisfaction that comes when we accomplish a goal. 


Our brain leverages the hormone called dopamine to motivate us to do a task. When we used to hunt and eat in ancient times, our brains inspired by this hormone would instruct us to chase the prey (the task) when we saw a prey (the goal). This is the same as going to the gym when we think about the results we want to achieve. Only when we remember the weight we want to achieve, we get kicked up to change into the gym wear and work out. The motivation secretes the dopamine and this chemical forces us to perform a task. When we talk about a goal, we waste the dose of this dopamine on talking instead of doing anything. And we get a false sense of achievement without even achieving anything. This false sense of achievement makes us relish in the glory which must only be obtained after achieving something: the delayed gratification. 


Also, nobody thinks you are cool when you keep boasting about your goal and never actually do anything. You come across as a cool person when you present the results. When you go to a meeting and shock everyone on the slides you were working upon and spending your hard work on; when you meet a friend, all lean and fit after working out diligently and consistently on your health.


So keep your goals to yourselves, like a secret between you and you.


References:


[1] https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself?language=en

Keep your goals to yourself: Derek Sivers


[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN76CGsENeI&ab_channel=BetterIdeas

How Talking About Your Goals is (secretly) Destroying Your Success: Better Ideas.


[3] https://medium.com/azoth/why-some-people-are-more-successful-than-others-part-ii-50c03c68119e

Why Some People Are More Successful Than Others: The Dopamine Connection: Prady Tawerie


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Keep your goals private (Walk the walk, but do not talk the talk.)

There is an old saying in Hindi, “jo badal garajte hai, wo baraste nahi,” which roughly means that those who boast about their goals and tar...